Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Agony of De...Head

Migraines.

I have some friends who get migraines, and their sensitivities when so affected vary as widely as they do...some can't tolerate the rustling sound of the curtains moving; another can't move her facial muscles without pain shooting through her skull.

When I get a migraine, light becomes a searing, tear-inducing beam of fire. So, when I was dropping the children off at the Child Care center, and I felt like I had a needle behind my right eye, I started to feel a little apprehension. When I got back in my car to head toward work, I was hoping it'd just go away. By the time I reached the freeway, I had tears coming from my right eye. I turned around at the gas station, and drove home...squinting, blinking, and trying to drive while seeing as little as possible. It was a harrowing two miles.

I stumbled into the house, took two Excedrin, and felt my way downstairs. I lay down on the couch in the basement, trying not to look directly at my cellphone screen, so I could send a message to my wife to say I'd made it home (I had sent a message to her and my boss in the gas station parking lot). I lay there in the dark and quiet, mentally building walls to block the pain.

I have an extremely high tolerance of pain. Whenever I'm hurt, I explore the pain: probing, prodding, flexing...whatever I do that hurts, I need to know the exact thresholds of the pain. But not with a migraine. I fear this pain, so much so that when the pain spikes feel like they might be subsiding, I continue to lay still in the dark, maintaining my walls, for fear that it's not gone, only resting for another attack. I suppose it was a long four hours before I got the courage up to move..and it was going away. Tears still streaming from my eyes, but I knew it was going to get better from here. Those of you that have had migraines know: when they start, the pain comes at you like it will never stop.

I have a family history of migraines, something I was hoping that I would not inherit. I've done some research, and it seems to me that there are as many theories surrounding the onset of migraines as there are people who get them. For some people, it's a very specific triggering action. For others, it's something as generic as "when my blood pressure goes up." My trigger? I'm not sure. I've only gotten five migraines, three were close together (within a two week period), and two have been outliers. Not really very much to go on.

Anyhow, it's passed now, and I'm beyond grateful. Here's to hoping some doctors have a major breakthrough in finding the causes of these. I'll volunteer to be tested on.

Until another time,
Salt

2 comments:

  1. Ouch! I'm glad you're feeling better but that has to suck. My mother gets migraines where she's light sensitive so I'm somewhat familiar. It must be terrible for you.

    I get occular migraines where I go blind for a bit (well more blind than I already am :-) ). But the worse was my former roommate. She would go blind with hers and develop paralysis on one side of her body.

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  2. Like I said, I've only had five, but I can already tell when my head starts to hurt whether it's a "Take two Tylenol and continue to function" headache or a "Take two Excedrin and go find a dark room" headache.

    I get many more of the prior than I do of the latter, which until I started getting migraines, I didn't know how grateful I was for the lesser kind.

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